Adoption / Foster Care: Is This a Good Adoption Match?

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Is This a Good Adoption Match? Nov 8th 2013, 08:00 When we read the adoption profile of a child in need of an adoptive family a few years ago, we felt that we could meet her needs based on what we had read. We also learned about the child from the adoptive family and the social workers. So, still feeling very confident that she was a good fit for our family, we decided to move on to the next step of the adoption process and did a couple of respite weekend visits. The child had a big personality and we found ourselves not enjoying her company. We were very overwhelmed with the decision before us and our hearts went out to the child, because she desperately wanted a family. She constantly told us how well she thought the visit was going, and how she thought we all fit in well together.  However, we knew this wasn't the right adoption match for our family. Her excitement about our home and family made it all the harder to let the workers know that we didn't think it was going to work out.  We could have moved forward out of guilt and added her to our home, but that would not have been wise in the long run.  In fact, it's one of the 10 Reasons Not to Adopt a Child. But how do you know when a child is the right fit for your family and you're the right match for the child? Click "comments" below and share your thoughts. Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features: How to Know When a Child Is Not a Good Adoption Match for Your Family How to Know When an Adoption Match Is Right for Your Family 10 Reasons Not to Adopt a Child 5 Reasons to Adopt a Child

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Adoption / Foster Care: Happy Adoption Anniversary to Our Sons

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Happy Adoption Anniversary to Our Sons Nov 5th 2013, 05:00 We have never made a big deal out of our adoption anniversary. It has always been more of a, "Hey, do you remember what happened today?" type of thing. Our middle son, Alan, was the one that usually remembered the date we finalized our adoption. He always had a mind for remembering dates.  He never failed to call on Mother's or Father's Day.  He also recognized almost every birthday.  This year our adoption anniversary will be bittersweet since Alan passed away two months ago - to the day. But it is still a day to celebrate for our family as eleven years ago on November 5, 2002, my husband, myself, and our daughter finalized the foster care adoption of our 3 boys. We fostered them for two years before facing a judge in Wichita, KS to make it all official. We have learned a lot from our time together as a family and I believe we are all better people for the experience. We have laughed together and grieved together. Every trial they face is still yet another growing and learning opportunity for all of us. I hope they all know that we love them, very much. Suggested Reading: How To Complete a Foster Care Adoption On the Loss of a Son -Lessons Learned By a Grieving Adoptive Mother What Is an Adoption Welcome Party? Hosting an Adoption Baby Shower Several Design Ideas for Making Adoption Announcements

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Adoption / Foster Care: Bring Foster Kids into the Kitchen this Holiday Season

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Bring Foster Kids into the Kitchen this Holiday Season Nov 4th 2013, 08:00 I have spoken with some foster parents who do not want their foster kids in the kitchen, the very thought bringing about an almost visible gag reflex. "The kids have poor hygiene," one foster mother said. "I caught one licking a spoon and then dipped it back in a jar of peanut butter." These dedicated foster mothers would just rather do the work and provide their foster children with meals and not worry about whether or not watching their foster kids in the kitchen might trigger nausea. I think about it differently - even though I too have witnessed some big no no's in the kitchen and have a pretty weak gag reflex myself. I want children that enter my home to learn the basics. If a foster child is 10 and older, I teach them how to do their own laundry and how to make basic meals. I do this so that if a foster child is returned home and her parents begin to struggle again, she doesn't have to be the "smelly kid" in the class at school or go hungry every night. The holidays bring about a perfect opportunity to work with kids in the kitchen.  Teach them how to bake cookies and take a batch on a visit with their birth parents or siblings. One of my best memories with our foster daughters last year was teaching them how to bake home made pies.  They were so proud of their creations. I created a new article that lists different ways that working with kids in the kitchen can help increase more skills than just spaghetti, which is good too - right? What do you think?  How have you encouraged foster kids in the kitchen?

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Adoption / Foster Care: Today Is Orphan Sunday

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Today Is Orphan Sunday Nov 3rd 2013, 12:28 Orphan Sunday, an event that is hosted locally with different sermons, concerts, prayer groups, shared meals, and youth activities.  The goal is to wake within each of us the knowledge that each orphan in the world needs a family to love them and it's up to all of us to care for them until they find that home. For more information, visit the Orphan Sunday website, orphansunday.org. Did you participate in Orphan Sunday?

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Adoption / Foster Care: New Articles for October 2013

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New Articles for October 2013 Oct 28th 2013, 23:14 This month I decided to begin providing resources for kinship foster care, due to the fact I was asked for more information on the topic. I hope this beginning article into the topic is helpful. Look for more information next month. What other topics would you like to read more about? Please share. Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features: Things to Think About Before Choosing to Provide Kinship Foster Care What Is the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI)? Adoption & Foster Care Medical Terminology Maryland Adoption Search Angel

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Adoption / Foster Care: Young Man Asks Church Congregation for an Adoptive Family

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Young Man Asks Church Congregation for an Adoptive Family Oct 19th 2013, 01:20 It is being reported that one young man, Davion Only of Florida, decided to take the search for a forever family into his own hands. It was approached in an unique and heartwarming way when fifteen-year-old Davion went before a church congregation and asked for a family. Davion has been in the foster care system his entire life and has been through many moves. Reports state that Davion spoke just a few simple lines two weeks ago when he stated, "I'll take anyone, old or young, dad or mom, black, white, purple. I don't care. And I would be really appreciative. The best I could be." His message has resulted in about 500 calls into his adoption agency, inquiring on how to bring Davion home. National Adoption Month is just a bit over two weeks away. I felt Davion's story was a great way to get us all pumped for the month of celebrating. May Davion Only's adoption finalization occur soon and he can begin to feel whole and loved. SOURCES: Florida church flooded with calls after 15-year-old orphan asks for family to adopt him Orphaned Florida teen Davion Only flooded with adoption requests after heartfelt public appeal

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Adoption / Foster Care: TLC's The Little Couple Adopt Second Baby

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TLC's The Little Couple Adopt Second Baby Oct 15th 2013, 10:17 People magazine reported yesterday that Dr. Jennifer Arnold, 39, and husband Bill Klein, 38, welcomed home a 2-year-old daughter Zoey from India. The couple are still new parents, having been parenting their first adopted child, a son named William, who they adopted six months ago from China. William and Zoey both have a form of dwarfism, like their new parents. You can watch the season finale of their show on TLC, Tuesday at 10 p.m. EST. Sources: The Little Couple Unite with Their New Daughter - People.com

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Adoption / Foster Care: Talking to Your Child About Their Adoption

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Talking to Your Child About Their Adoption Oct 14th 2013, 15:06 I believe that children should be raised with the knowledge that they were adopted.  Other parents choose to wait for the right time to bring up the topic. Either way - it may be difficult for some families to find a way to feel comfortable enough to talk about a child's adoption story. Here are several ideas on how to be more open within your family about the topic of adoption, Helping Your Child Talk About Adoption.  There is also a bit of information on when adoptees may think about birth family or their adoption. One tool that seems to help ease everyone into the discussion is a lifebook.  Lifebooks are a great way to open up the lines of communication with your child.   Here is a review I did on a great book that will help you understand the purpose of the lifebook and tell you how to create one for your child. Lifebook: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child Suggested Reading on Lifebooks: Best Ideas on How to Complete a Lifebook for Your Adopted or Foster Child What Not to Put into a Foster or Adopted Child's Lifebook Why You Should Make a Copy of Your Foster or Adotped Child's Lifebook It's Never too Early for Creating a Life Book

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Adoption / Foster Care: Extended Family Adopt Too

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Extended Family Adopt Too Oct 9th 2013, 08:00 It's a concept that we may not think a lot about when we first decide to adopt a child, but whenever someone joins our family, our entire extended family is impacted as well. This is true no matter if you are choosing an international adoption, a domestic adoption, or a foster care adoption.  Some family members may be excited about the idea of adopting, while others may have some negative comments. Have you found the negative responses to be more generational or cultural?  For us, it was generational. Those with concerns seemed to be concerned with how foster care and adoption would impact our daughter. If you are in the process of adopting a child, have you discussed your adoption plans with your extended family members and friends? If not, why not? If you have, did it go well? If your family has fully embraced your child, please share your story. Suggested Reading: Introducing an Adopted or Foster Child to Your Family The Wonderful Ways Our Family Has Embraced Our Adopted Child Adoption and Grandparents How One Grandma Tries to Create a Connection - I asked my mother-in-law to write a short article about her feelings as the grandmother of adopted, older children.

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Adoption / Foster Care: Fully Understanding Your Role as a Foster Parent

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Fully Understanding Your Role as a Foster Parent Oct 8th 2013, 02:23 Part of becoming a new foster parent is understanding how to advocate for your foster children and who you will be partnering within the many different agencies. Take a moment and learn more about each area of the foster care system and how foster parents work with the different people within each one. Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features: Understanding Each Role within a Foster Care Agency Understanding Each Role within the Court System Understanding Each Role in Medical and Mental Health Services Understanding Each Role in the School System Children and Family within the Foster Care System

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Adoption / Foster Care: October Is National Bullying Prevention Month

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October Is National Bullying Prevention Month Oct 1st 2013, 00:43 It all started in 2006, with a single week-long event, that has now grown into a month full of activities. The message for this year's campaign: The End of Bullying Begins with Me.  Learn more about Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights (PACER)'s bullying campaign through their website. Do your foster or adopted children deal with bullies at school? Do they tell you about the abuse? What advice do you give your kids? Do you have tips for other parents? Share here. Suggested Reading: School Bullying and Foster Children - Things to Know and Do About School Bullying Do you suspect that your child is a school bully? What tipped you off? How are you handling it? Offer suggestions to other parents here. Suggested Reading: What to Do When You Think Your Foster or Adopted Child Is a Bully

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Adoption / Foster Care: New Articles for September 2013

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New Articles for September 2013 Sep 30th 2013, 08:00 Due to the tragic loss of our middle son this month, I was blessed with two guest authors, who wish to remain anonymous, to help with the writing of a couple of articles. I hope you enjoy their articles on sending care packages to your matched child and the worry that comes with preparing to parent an adopted child as well as a biological child. I have really appreciated all the supportive emails. Thank you. Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features: On the Loss of a Son International Adoption: Sending Care Packages Will The Love Be The Same? What Is Rehoming?

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Adoption / Foster Care: Learning to Read Between the Lines of the Profiles of Waiting Children

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Learning to Read Between the Lines of the Profiles of Waiting Children Sep 27th 2013, 08:00 A reader asked me to explain some of the cryptic phrases often seen in the profiles and adoption photolistings of waiting children. "Waiting children" is not only a term used to define children in foster care waiting for adoptive homes, but also for children, especially older children, waiting overseas to find their forever family through an international adoption. Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features: How to Better Understand the Profiles of Waiting Children - Can You Meet These Needs? Child Behavioral and Emotional Needs of Waiting Children Adoptive Family or Parent Needs of Waiting Children School and Community Needs of Waiting Children

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Adoption / Foster Care: The 2013 100 Best Adoption-Friendly Workplaces

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The 2013 100 Best Adoption-Friendly Workplaces Sep 26th 2013, 22:13 The Dave Thomas Foundation has named the 2013 Best Adoption-friendly Workplaces. The Wendy's Company topped the list for the sixth year in a row offering up to $25,300 in adoption assistance and up to six weeks of paid adoption leave. The Wendy's Company is not affiliated with the Dave Thomas Foundation. The rankings are determined by the company's adoption benefits which include financial reimbursement and paid leave that is made available to employees who adopt. The list of the top 100 also recognizes the top ten by size and the leaders in each industry, as well as companies who support adoption and adoptive families in other ways. Top of the 100 Best for 2013 The Wendy's Company Top Companies by Size for 2013 Small Company Cambridge Family and Children's Service offers their 95 employees, $13,000 and 12 weeks leave. Medium Company Barilla America, Inc offers their 458 employees, $16,000 and 1 week of leave. Large Company The Wendy's Company offers their 44,000 employees, $24,300 and 6 weeks leave. Top by Industry Advertising, Marketing and Public Relations - Leo Burnett & Arc Worldwide Architecture, Engineering and Construction - Robins & Morton Communications and Telecommunications - Premiere Global Services, Inc Consulting, Accounting, Legal and Business Services - Alston & Bird, LLP Consumer Products - HanesBrands Education - The McGraw-Hill Companies Energy and Utilities - Chesapeake Energy Corporation Entertainment, Media and Publishing - UBM (LLC, Medica, Canon, Inc) Financial Services - Citizens Financial Group, Inc./RBS Americas Food, Beverage and Restaurants - The Wendy's Company Government - (Tie)City of Carmel, Indiana and Commonwealth of Kentucky Healthcare - WellStar Health System Hotel and Travel - Carlson Industrial and Manufacturing - Boston Scientific Insurance - New York Life Non-profit -Cambridge Family and Children's Service Pharmaceutical -Ferring Pharmaceuticals Real Estate - Duke Realty Corporation Retail - Brooks Brothers Group, Inc. Sports and Recreation - NBA (National Basketball Association) Technology, Information and Research - LSI Corporation Transportation and Automotive - Massachusetts Port Authority If interested in reading about how other companies stacked up this year, check out the 2013 Best Adoption-Friendly Workplaces List. ______________________________________ Suggested Reading: What Is the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption? Adoption-Friendly Workplaces 7 Ways to Afford the Cost of Adoption Adoption Grants & Adoption Loans What Are Employer Sponsored Adoption Benefits?

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