This article was prompted by the following e-mail:
"I am currently 19 years old and single, but I am one day hoping to be a foster parent. Could you give me some advice on how to prepare my life for such a thing? I am really interested in the idea of adoption and would love to hear any advice you can offer.
Thanks for your time and I'm sorry if I am bothering you in any way.
Thank you again,
T."
My Response
- Get lots of experience with children of all ages.
- Volunteer at group homes.
- Baby-sit for foster families.
- Ask your local agency if they need volunteers to baby-sit during meetings.
This will give you experience working with children who may have been abused or neglected. - Take trainings or college courses on children, child development, and parenting. Family Studies may be a helpful area of study as well.
- Obtain a job that will support yourself and your current family. You will need to be able to prove that you can support yourself without the help of any outside funds.
- Find out your state's age requirement on fostering. Do you need to be 21?
- If you are married find out if your state prefers that you be married for a certain amount of time. Some agencies require that a couple be together for about two years before fostering. Yes, singles can foster. Know that if you do marry after you become a foster parent your spouse will be required to take the foster parent training. Many states support gay/lesbian foster parents as well.
- Find an apartment or home that you can afford that is large enough for one or more foster child/ren. Find out your state's requirements on bedroom size so that you don't wind up with a home with rooms that are too small. Yes, you can rent.
- You might also want to find out about bunk beds and other bedroom furniture so that you can start looking at garage sales and sales at furniture stores when you are ready. Many states don't allow bunk beds or trundles.
- How is your yard? Find out from your state about the following:
- Does your yard need to be fenced?
- Do you have a pond or swimming pool? What regulations does the state have on bodies of water?
- Is your play equipment in good repair? Does it need to be anchored?
Fixing these issues a little at a time will save you money in the long run. Many families begin the foster care process to learn that they will have to sink several hundred dollars into a fence for their pool. Find out now and plan for such an expense.
- Do you have adequate transportation? You will need a valid driver's license. A reliable car that is large enough to transport the number of children you plan on fostering. Some foster care placements require a lot of driving to appointments and visits with family.
- Prepare your family and establish your support system. Foster care is not easy. Let your family and friends about your plans and listen to any concerns they may have. This will give you time to seek out answers and calm their fears before bringing home your first foster child. This will also let you know who your supporters are and who you can call on when you need a break or a listening ear.
I hope this helps!
Good luck!
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