| Destroying a Marriage Jul 18th 2011, 10:00 Foster care is a lot of work and stress, but it's also very rewarding. The emotional roller coaster of fostering can either build your relationships or destroy them. Here is a tongue-in-cheek look at how foster care can hurt your marriage. Written with humor, but with meaning behind each suggestion. - Neglect your marriage. Stay away from things like date nights - NEVER have couple time. Allow foster care to become your whole world with room for nothing else.
- Allow the child to manipulate and triangulate. Playing you against your spouse is a great game! Fall into conversations with openers like, “Boy, Dad said you wouldn't let me go with my friends, but he would.†or “When Mom is with us all day she lets us play the game system for three hours at a time.â€
- Argue in front of the kids. This way the kids will know that you’re stressed and wearing down.
- Ignore your own needs. Don't go out for lunch with friends, enjoy your hobby, or take a long bubble bath. This will keep you good and cranky.
- Take all of the child’s behaviors personally. Then take the stress and frustration out on your spouse and family.
- Disagree with your spouse on discipline in front of the children. This shows a further division between you two.
- Choose to be resentful of the situation. Don't communicate your needs and feelings to your spouse in a healthy manner.
- When things get really bad, don’t seek out help from professionals or clergy. Keep it all bottled up inside, deep, deep inside.
- Isolate yourself and refuse to talk about things. Don’t vent to friends, allow feelings to build, thus causing you to explode.
- Convince yourself that respite isn’t necessary. You are a rock! You can handle anything! You don't need a break!
Something to think about: If by working to help a family we lose our own, we really don't accomplish much, do we?   | |
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